My Waterloo

What have they done to Waterloo Bridge? I don't know how long it's been going on for but it was certainly new to me this morning. Someone has obviously thought; 'What are the biggest pinch points for traffic in London? The bridges? Really? How many lanes do they have? 4?! Well that's far too many, one each way should do it I think.'

But what are we going to do with the other two lanes oh great and wise TFL? 'Oh I don't know we'll put some cones out, a few generators, you know the usual, all very meaningful.' Any workers there? 'Nope.' This leads me to ponder who it actually is that does road works. I've seen road works and I've seen road workers but in over two decades I don't recall ever seeing them in the same place.

Apparently the Waterloo Bridge thing is that so as not to disturb traffic, they're only going to be working on it at night. That doesn't mean they re-open the whole bridge during the day and block off the other two lanes in the evening. What it means is that, the bridge will always be cut down to two lanes it's just that there won't be anyone making lots of noise that might frighten you while you commute. Fantastic, I have an acute fear of infrastructural progress.

So where do the road workers work? They're around, I've seen new buildings and things and pavements have to come from somewhere, but when do they construct these things? There's enough images of folk in loincloths dragging rocks the size of Devon cottages into the shapes of pyramids but I've never even seen a photograph of a man in a helmet digging a hole.

I'm going to leave this one open-ended. I don't think anyone knows the answer. It must be a secret society thing. This may well be the thing that keeps us from getting angry at builders and workers. The sense of mystery. The ninja-like stealth with which they pave roads, erect columns, repair facades and put out cones. It's this mystery that keeps a small part of me believing that by the time I commute to work tomorrow morning, Waterloo Bridge will be 20 lanes wide and lined with silk.