My Woolworth's

Woolworths shutting down seems to be the big news at the moment. With people of all ages, religions, sexes and races lamenting the death of an English Institute.  If you are lamenting then you'd better feel guilty because you never ever bought anything there did you? They made the doors extra -wide so fat teenagers with eight retarded and socially fucked children could get through, and since then you wanted nothing at all to do with the place. From the budget DVD collection, the slightly moist baby clothes, the appalling gaggle of chinese plastic toys and the penny-sweet collection that had become one massive, sugary object from the sticky, slimy fingers molesting it for the last 5 years, Woolworths was plain unpleasant and deserves to be shut down. And no, I have no sympathy for the employees, they make the staff at Burger King look like glamour models and Prince Philip positively diplomatic. Send them back to the gulags where they came from.

Other things that should go the way of the Woolworths in the next year:

Elephant and Castle Shopping Center. Anyone who says it's a sight of heritage, community center, unique building or historically important deserves to be inside it when they blow it up. Replace it with one MASSIVE Starbucks, commericalise away. All those 'poor' little ladies with stalls should have spent their parents life savings on a wiser investment. 

East London. Pretty much the same deal. Perhaps don't destroy it, just seal it off in some giant glass dome so that tourists can peer in and say things like; "Awwwww, they think they're people."

Yeah that's pretty much it, soon this 'credit crunch' will alleviate the tourist problem, by getting rid of them and then I'll be able to walk down a street without bumping into a 6ft back pack with a spaniard attached and the rainforest's dying so they have to stop making free papers soon and then there'll be none of those guys either.  The future's looking bright.